I know this will probably bother a lot of people, and I’m kind of hoping it does. If you spank your kids, you should be bothered. If you whip your kids, you should seek professional help.
1) People are rightly horrified that this man would beat his daughter with a belt for minutes on end (though there seems to be less outrage about the verbal abuse he heaps upon her while he’s doing it).
2) The father (who happens to be a judge) is unrepentant. He says he apologized to his daughter, but also says he’s done nothing wrong and that “it’s not as bad as it looks” in the video. He tries to say that his daughter had it coming, and that when the full story emerges, we’ll all understand why he whipped her with a belt. Try as I might, I can’t think of something my child could do that would be so bad that such a punishment would be justified. Abusers are big fans of the “You provoked me” line of justification.
3) A lot of people are saying, “Well, spanking is one thing. Spanking is sometimes needed. But this is different.” It’s really not. First of all, spanking is ineffective. Secondly, spanking teaches your child to be afraid of you. Thirdly, parents who resort to spanking are saying, “Well, I have no authority over you, so all I can do is get violent.” And yes, spanking – even a slap on the bottom – is violent. Try actual discipline, abandon spanking.
I’m pretty sick of hearing about how beating is a generational thing, as if that makes it okay. I’m also tired of hearing, “Well, I was spanked and I turned out fine!” If you’re advocating for spanking children, you didn’t turn out fine. At best, you’re sorely mistaken. At worst, you’re a monster.
I know otherwise kind people who spank and/or threaten to spank their kids, so there are a huge number of people who simple don’t know any better. I think the onus is on those people to learn how to discipline a child, if they really want to raise emotionally healthy human beings who trust and love them. This would preferably be done before having kids, but if they’re already born, it’s never too late to learn.
I know this may sound condescending, but I’m not too interested in making people feel good about their bad choices. Spanking and beating are both abusive, and all children deserve better. Period.